Navigating the Holidays with Complex Trauma and Without Family Ties
Discovering meaning & resilience in going it alone
Many of my therapy clients recovering from complex trauma rooted in horrendous histories of cruelty and neglect are relieved that the holiday season is winding up. They dreaded the unavoidable queries about holiday plans. Rather than launch into detail about their misfortunes they’d render a generic, albeit fictitious response. “Family stuff,” typically sufficed.
Others, indifferent to societal conventions, simply stated they don’t partake in seasonal festivities. No gift giving, family gatherings or parties. It’s just another day in their life. Not surprisingly, given the collective expectation to be submerged in jovial bliss, they are often misconceived as cynical grinches.
Yet the pressures of holiday conformity takes an emotional toll on everyone, not just those without family. Take for example a survey conducted by market research company OnePoll, which revealed that in spite of all the emphasis on familial unity in the holiday season, 75% of 2000 American respondents reported that it takes just about four hours of socializing with family before the longing for alone time kicks in. Lack of privacy, interpersonal drama and resultant irritation were cited as the primary sources of concern.
