How being sick has its advantages

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

At some point in life, we’ve all reaped the benefits of milking an illness. Maybe it facilitated skipping school or work, being coddled, avoiding jury duty or just reveling in hibernation. There are some folks, however, who go above and beyond occasionally attaining advantages from being infirm. They are invested…


Sharing real intimacy after being the supply

Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

My experience as a survivor and a therapist specializing in treating both complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome has shown me that the violent personal assault inflicted by NPD abuse causes Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in victims, irrespective of whether they present with a prior history of complex trauma…


Checking in with yourself.

Photo by Inge Poelman on Unsplash

Soldiering through life, oblivious to one’s circumstances is common. To counter the seductive pull of numbing out I do body scans. This process entails stillness and mindfully taking stock of physical sensations.

With deliberation I notice my breath. If it is shallow, meaning I’m breathing from the chest, I’m tense and dissociative. Deepening my breath encourages me to drop in and identify muscular constriction.

Stretches like smiling expansively, repetitively clenching and flexing my hands, shrugging my shoulders, squeezing my butt and bending like a rag doll, undo the knots.

I end with a grounding technique by placing a broom stick handle or a hard ball under the arch of each foot and step hard, one foot at a time. Opening the foot chakra (aka the zero chakra), allows for an immediate jolt of rejuvenation.

Then I shake it off and I’m good to go.


Nope - we’re not the same as men

Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

Unless one is intersex biological maleness and femaleness is typically discernible at birth. Reproductive science indicates that babies born with two X chromosomes will develop female genitals, while those with an X and a Y will possess male sexual organs. However, exactly when and how psychological gender materializes will likely…


Coming to terms with regrets

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We’ve all had the misfortune of lamenting ad nauseam over misgivings that can range from something relatively innocuous such as forgetting an anniversary to the gravity of having caused deliberate harm. Whatever the origin, fixating into perpetuity over a blunder, a mistake or a perceived cardinal sin is a unique…


Pre-requisites to deep diving into systemic memories of abuse

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It was 1990 in Brooklyn, N.Y. when I was hired as a treatment coordinator at a facility for adolescent and adult drug addicts. The crack epidemic was ravaging communities on a national scale and AIDS was a global health crisis. I had just completed post-graduate work at Coney Island Hospital…


Takes a toll on mental health

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One night, like many people these days, I found myself out of sorts, grappling with dread over the state of the world. Disorienting bewilderment and chaos fueled by global hypocrisy and double standards seized control. My absorption in fatalistic speculation felt like a bad trance. …


Why we stifle our power

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Daydreaming about being in the public eye receiving acclaim and notoriety is as ubiquitous as the air. Yet push come to shove not many would want that fantasy to morph into reality. …


A Satirical Tale of Theater’s Dark Underbelly

Photo by Karen Zhao on Unsplash

Chloe ascends the steps of the subway and marvels at the horde of people infiltrating Times Square. The sights and sounds stimulate her senses, reassuring her it was the right decision to relocate from the Midwest. …


What happens when currency devolves into an obsessive fix

Photo by Travis Essinger on Unsplash

We can all appreciate the complexity of the legal tender. Technically a form of exchange for goods and services, money assists with establishing a comfortable quality of life. It signifies security, connotes one’s place in the world, renders status and even enhances one’s sense of power.

On the downside however…

Rev. Sheri Heller, LCSW

NYC Therapist & Author. Complex Trauma & Addiction. Dual citizen, traveler, lover of art and nature. I appreciate the absurd. Sheritherapist.com

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