Discerning what’s reasonable and what’s delusional — Although mistrust due to maltreatment and betrayal plagues most people, as a clinician and survivor of complex trauma I’m all too familiar with how systemic attachment injuries rooted in childhood traumas, domestic violence, and narcissistic abuse can induce paranoia. If severe and recurring, habitually defending against victimization calcifies into paranoia…

An egoistic set up for objectification and envy — A trend I’ve noticed amongst therapy clients who are grappling with symptoms of PTSD rooted in narcissistic abuse, concerns the fixation with being ‘special’. On the heels of the notorious degrade and discard, devastated by callous rejection and being instantaneously replaced by another, the one rejected obsessively perseverates over no…

Roe versus Wade is not just about reproductive freedom — One of the fairytales I treasured as a little girl poignantly captured the hardships of childhood. Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Match Girl told of a young abused girl driven to begging in order to survive. Braving the cold of winter she lights her matches, thus illuminating visions and imaginings…

A surreal bittersweet departure — Last week I said goodbye to M. Eighteen years ago we met for a consultation at my office on Union Square in New York City. His mother’s psychiatrist sent him my way when his life was on the cusp of suicide and incarceration. I still remember how his eyes were…

Tackling expenses, immigration and packing — My quality of life is compromised by the cost of living, overcrowding, inadequate municipal services, unethical government policies, lack of sufficient affordable healthcare and an untenable spike in crime. It’s time to relocate. I can no longer abide by the unhealthy conditions in New York City. Yet as the move…

The psychological and sociological practice of destroying others — On the heels of ending a long-term relationship to a malignant narcissist, Lauren vehemently and unceasingly blamed herself for ‘allowing’ him to sadistically debase her. Although she intellectually concurred with M. Scott Peck’s premise that genuine love is volitional, that true intimacy is contingent on honoring one another’s humanity and…

How dumping differs from constructive self-disclosure — I have met many wonderful folks through this platform, some who I even had, or continue to have the privilege of working with. In some cases, their initial correspondence was a thoughtful segue into exploring the possibility of setting up a therapeutic assessment, so that more pressing issues and concerns…

When sacrifice in the name of love is detrimental — When a child is given time, attention, direction, physical nurturing, and all other needs are attended she feels loved and held in warm personal regard. Ever-present adoration and attention are essential to knowing she is worthy and has intrinsic value. On the other hand, when a family system is noxious…

Witnessing the collapse of a traumatized nation — Astrophysicist and Nobel Laureate Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar wisely imparted that, “nature has shown over and over again that the kinds of truth which underlie nature transcend the most powerful minds.” Chandrasekhar suggests that in spite of evidence that ‘nature acts on the planet on a scale that dwarfs most human processes,’…