Daydreaming about being in the public eye receiving acclaim and notoriety is as ubiquitous as the air. Yet push come to shove not many would want that fantasy to morph into reality. Even folks I’ve rendered psychotherapy to who sought to attain and achieved fame expressed serious distress over being subject to the demands of a parasitic fan base and the pressures of always having to publicly measure up to impossible standards.

Indeed being put under a microscope is not tantamount to admiration and certainly isn’t emblematic of love. Makes me wonder if veteran actor Kevin Kline dons the industry…

Chloe ascends the steps of the subway and marvels at the horde of people infiltrating Times Square. The sights and sounds stimulate her senses, reassuring her it was the right decision to relocate from the Midwest. Stopping to purchase a cup of coffee, she sends a quick text to Octavio, replete with heart emoticons and a notification that she is safely in Manhattan.

Nearing 9th avenue she peruses the scribbled address on the crumpled slip of paper stashed in the pocket of her denim jacket. She chuckles, recalling Octavio’s trepidation with her participating in a ‘New Age’ theater workshop. Ringing…

We can all appreciate the complexity of the legal tender. Technically a form of exchange for goods and services, money assists with establishing a comfortable quality of life. It signifies security, connotes one’s place in the world, renders status and even enhances one’s sense of power.

On the downside however, wealth can fuel ruthless avarice and an insatiable need for hedonistic pursuits. If out of control ones attachment to currency can morph into a reckless, compulsive pursuit devoid of consequential thinking or restraint, despite evidence of obvious harm.

On a global scale the expansion of consumption and environmental degradation is…

For over three decades the method of treatment I facilitate is similar to the type of therapy I engaged in throughout my recovery. Albeit, my entree into long-term therapy, although well-intentioned and ultimately reparative, did not contain Dr. Judith Herman’s theoretical framework for understanding complex trauma.

Nevertheless the core principles of establishing a strong therapeutic bond so as to embark on a journey of plumbing the depths of memory and subconscious motivations sustained me through the worst of times and serves as a blueprint for the treatment I now provide as a complex trauma therapist.

I consider treatment that consists…

Then she saw a star fall, leaving behind it a bright streak of fire. “Someone is dying,” thought the little girl, for her old grandmother, the only one who had ever loved her, and who was now dead, had told her that when a star falls, a soul was going up to God. ~ The Little Match Girl / Hans Christian Andersen

One of the fairytales I treasured as a little girl poignantly captured the hardships of childhood. Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Match Girl told of a young abused girl driven to begging in order to survive. Braving the…

Even in this day and age of generational shifts in parenting and shared parental responsibilities, the father is still viewed by many as a collateral caregiver whose primary function is to mete out discipline and pay the bills. However, the father is so much more than just an authority figure and a material provider. In fact, the love and engagement of a father with their offspring is an invaluable catalyst for social and emotional development.

The ‘father effect,’ a term used to address the positive impact fathering has across families from all ethnic backgrounds, is vast. As studies suggest, the…

Often when I am facilitating therapy sessions with complex trauma survivors, statements will be made that are suggestive of splitting. For instance, one day a friend is perceived as the embodiment of perfection, but when a disappointing flaw is revealed that same person is suddenly vehemently unacceptable. Conversely, one week a familial abuser might be described as the devil incarnate and in the next session, they will be defended as a well-intentioned martyr.

The commonly relied upon defense mechanism of splitting classifies behavior and circumstances in all or nothing terms, such as all good (idealizing) or all bad (shameful).

When…

I was enraptured by his rakish good looks and unassuming charm. That he loved teaching high school kids and was a devoted father to his regal Bernese mountain dog exemplified strength of character. I believed his displays of sincerity and beneficence were proof of his virtue.

What appeared certain would eventually be dispelled, but when I was smitten and spellbound by infatuation, I did not see Jake for who he was. I certainly could not fathom that he would be my undoing.

Of course, my insatiable desperation and magnetic attraction to polished, garden-variety covert narcissists factored into my blind enchantment…